Ret

 

Na samjhe wo

Ashkon ki kahi

Na sun sake wo

Khamoshiyon ki zubaan

Manchala badal sa

wo ek sapna

Tanhaiyon mein,

Parvat pe jhuk sa gaya

Socha bol doon 

Aaj ek baar, badha

Par us mod par 

aake, ruk sa gaya.

Jo kabhi manzil tha

Khwaish tha, apna tha

band muthi mein ret sa

Simta, fir bikhar sa gaya....

Adhura sahi apna hai

Lahron par ruki 

Ek ummeed,

Palkon par kaanpta

Ek khaab,

Lamho mein Simti

Ye zindagi..

Adhoore par, Saath hain

Jo Pura ho 

Wahi pyar nahi hota,

Jo adhura hai

Wo bhi apna hai ....

Hakikat na sahi

Khoobsurat ek sapna hai

Jitna mila hai

Kismet se

Shukraguzaar hain

Aapki us Mauzudgi ka

Hakikat nahi, sapna hai

Adhoora hi sahi, apna hai.... 

23:21     20 Aug 2022

Extempore in Hindi

aye raat thahar jaa aaj,

in palkon mein kaid kar lun mein unka chehra

us hansi ko sama lun apni saanson mein

ye 'zindagi' na jaane phir kab mile mujhe

agar wo yaadein kho gayi to,

ek ateet gum ho jaayega ehsaason ka

hum mein hi kahi dabi reh jaayegi,

ek duniya armaano ki, bikhri hui, khaamosh.

ye aashiyan pyar ka, wo aandhi zazbaaton ki

ye sahar ishq ka,

jeete hue ek dusre ko,

khamoshiyon ki awaaz mein gum.

Bikhri hui yaadon ke shazar mein

Raat ke palkon pe thahri wo aus ki boond

Ehsaas dila rahi aapki mauzidagi ka.

Lamho mein, Shor mein, Khamoshiyon mein...

8 March 2006 to 20 Aug 2022

Shadow

Night you are beautiful,

So was the day.

I take a lot from you,

Lots i gave away.

Shadow I am, 

here to linger, 

then fade away.

I am just a shadow that the day has left

a bit longer on the face of the earth

to be doomed, as night approaches.

to be alive in the night.

shadow i am for a long long time to come...

Unknown by the faces

I lost somewhere in past.

Known to faces not seen or heard of.

shadow i am, 

Of a person i was,

Of a person i cannot be.

I am a shadow of my past,

Of the choices i made in life,

And of those i couldnt make.

I am just a part of my old self,

What, i could have been

What, someday i was,

Shadow i am, shadow i was.

Inception

Lost myself in time

I am stagnant for years

Holding on to ruins

I watched myself decay.

I have seen the shadows galore

Explore the leftover remains

Of times that passed

And rust that remained.

I have seen the rats

Gnaw at the mud of my grave

Looking for the last part

Of my existence, which never was.

By every passing moment

I am coming closer to an end

The end that leads me

To a new beginning...of an end

Complete

The voices
Echo deep inside
Muffled, distant,
There still is
Resonance

They bring back
Memories
From a past
Buried
In some dark corner
Of an unquenched heart
The images still
Illuminate

The pain
Of a love
Worth waiting
A lifetime.
The wait
That still remains

The cage
Of my memories
Weave a web
A world
Of u and me
The trail,
The Stillness of night
That remains

A part of me
Died
Trapped in a tear
Dried
In a moment
Long gone
This path i tread
Alone
May lead me to you
Still
Someday, I know
It will 

Make us complete.

The Lone Star

I wait in the hope
Of love, that eludes.
The lone shadow,
crucified by pain.

The muffled voices
of broken dreams.
The deafening silence
Of tearful eyes.

The darkness, the emptiness
Through this life beyond light.
I wait like a lone star,
mocking the seriousness of the night.

Yaadein

Shaayad maine kabhi nahi socha tha,

Ki itne saalon ke baad bhi,

tumhari yaadein yun mere zehan mein basi rahengi

Shayad tumne bhi ye socha na hoga.

Har ek lamha, har ek yaadein,

Har ek aahon ne ehsaas dilaaya tumhara,

Yun wo lamhe, yaadein aur aahein tadpayengi mujhe

Shayad tumne ye socha na hoga.

Bikhri hastratein, hamari tanhaiyan

Tute hue khwab, tumhari parchaiyan,

Haq pyar ka itna hi hamara hoga,

Shayad tumne ye socha na hoga.

Ek yaad tadpa jaaye,

Ek lamha rula jaaye,

Ateet se nikalkar, in tanhaiyon mein,

Shayad tumne ye socha na hoga.

Par aaj itne saalon baad,

Main sochta hun ki tum mujhe kyon nahin mile,

To ye sawaal uthta hai zehan mein,

Kya tumne bhi kabhi mere baare mein socha hoga?

21-01-2003

The Cat

I watch you play

as if the whole world you own

or as if you dont care who does!

I laugh at my inability to play, like you.....

I wonder at your world, the ball of yarn.

I wonder at mine, a bag of problems.

And there you go, entangled in your world,

Like me, entangled in mine

I getup and get you out of your mess,

wishing someday you will get me out of mine....

But you, free from your bondage, run away from me

And i struggle to hold on.

You turn, and purrr..

And together, we start binding,

strings of our discarded love......

16-05-2006

Distances

You were so close to me, always;

But still there were distances,

standing between us.

And now, when I must think

distances would be all that will matter.

I could find you much close to me.

It has been years when you crossed my fences,

And my heart buried all the feelings

It could not show.

And everything around me had stopped;

Stopped long ago.

So many times, I’ve went through

The each moment of my existence with you.

I’ve lived and relived those moments,

A million times,

But all I could feel

Were some ruins that dripped

Through the eyes on my solemn face,

And some memories,

Indispensable memories, which remained.

The pains are all true just like my love,

Something which you never believed upon,

And it’s the only truth that remains in my existence

And something I could never overcome.

And at the end of the day

I could see loneliness,

As always, standing beside me.

And so standing the image of your lovely eyes.

The very eyes that held me once,

The eyes that kept me alive.

And now when I may behold them very close,

I realise, distances do mean a lot …….

09-01-2001 ----  30-01-2001

A Love Story

I splash hard on your rock

I'll break it free someday

The rock still stands tall,

The water withers away....

I kiss both your ends, o shore,

I vow to bring you together someday,

The shore just laughed,

The meeting is miles away.

For you I bring shells and beauties from far

I bring love, may be happiness too someday.

The shore and the rock laugh

The sea is just dumping things away....

15-06-06

I know It will come to You

.
When you want it the most
Love never comes to you.
But keep faith in me.
I know it will come to you

We are one shadow Without a face,
Not a ME or a YOU,
So hold on to your dreams
I know it will come to you.

Where this road will lead us?
Will love see us through?
I dont know destiny, my love!
But I know it will come to you.

24-06-2006

Parchaiyaan

parchaiyon mein tere shaamil hoon,
tujhse door kahan jaunga.
jitne door jaoge tum,
utne kareeb aa jaunga.

pukaroge andheron mein kabhi,
jab khamoshiyon ko humdum,
thahroge; dhundoge, jis aur,
main hi main nazar aunga.

sheeshe ki khanak hoon main,
toot kar bhi aaunga,
har aahon mein shaamil hoon tere,
saanson mein ghul jaunga,

parchaiyon mein tere shaamil hoon,
tujhse door kahan jaunga.
jitne door jaoge tum,
utne kareeb aa jaunga.

Unfinished Life

What you meant to me, I could never tell,
You are so much more, you would never know.
Sometimes when life looks back on me, and i on her,
I will ask her, what would it be with you!

Will it ask the same questions,
will it lead through the same roads.
Will I meet my fate in your lap here.
Or, Will you just lead me on...

 Lost my words, when I lost you,
And may be life would come seeking me again,
Far, somewhere, away from me,
Something unfinished, will still remain....


29 Nov 2011
01:30 am

Maa

Ma, I am not your baby,
Never behaved like one.
Yes you supported me,
Silently in everything.
And you fought for me,
Because you knew it was my wish.

My wish to trudge this path,
How could you know where it will lead me,
You supported me because you thought I knew!

And Mom I know you knew everything about me,
Even things I never could tell.
I dont know how, but then, how could I?

I know it makes you sad,
To see me here, like this.
But you dont know how happy I am,
You are still there for me.

You gave me life, your love will give me resurrection,
And I will be your baby, I always was one...

Existence

What is illusion?

An image of reality we want to see.

What is reality?

An illusion, we think permanent.

Change; it affects everything.

Evolution; growth for future.

What we perceive as illusion,is it reality?

A product of our subconscious mind.

What we believe real,is it illusion?

Which gives away, soon and always.

This strife is an illusion,

This strife is a reality,

Where one ends, other begins,

A cycle of perpetuity.

Does this cycle define me?

Am i an illusion, or a reality?

I must be an illusion, in a real world,

Or real, in my world of illusions.

Today i realise,

How illusionary are my realities,

How real are my illusions,

Leading me to the end, I seek.

beyond this strife of illusions, beyond reality.....

Liberation

Come closer,
Bring me close to my reality.
Show me; my true self
My darkness, my congeniality.

Will you always be what you are?
How can you?
The world changes everything,
Will it change you?
How do you make me?
What you do!
No one else did,
How could you?

Why do you define my boundaries?
How do you set me free?
How can you make me believe?
What I never see!

Why this conflict?
When nothing affects me!
Will this part of me
Stay always or fade?
Will I be what I am?
Or I’ll have unknown shades.

Come touch my soul,
Once again.
Give me a kiss
Liberate my pain.
Through this fading existence,
Of me, as I am,
A hug, a touch,
Liberate me again!
Liberate me again!

My Truth

.

The Sun's going to shine on you, forever,

Though it sets on me.

And you may behold everybody very close to you,

Yet there's a heart, as lonely as you would see.

I may behold you as a flower, fallen from the heaven,

And you may see me as the one, fallen to the ground.

Truth may be what you were made to see, or told,

Or it may be the one that will be found.

Let the divine light take me to peace,

Let my soul go for the last walk.

And away from the world, let the truth of my love

Be kept in some dark corner of my heart.

Let the painful heart silently go down,

keeping my truth and your love abound.

To wait till the enemies dig me out,

And the truth is found.....

Destiny

A reflection of souls
similar in dissimilar moments.
A reflection of life
dissimilar in its similarity.

The irrepressable spirit,
ready to get doomed,
has an unflinching faith,
in the improbable,
which may come and go,
without being our own,
leaving shadows of a day,
kissing the night,
a night, meeting the day.

The lone star waits,
May the night come...
While destiny plays,
May the night come...

I Need to Know

 The Sun raises a hope,

The night pulls it down.

Why does the Sun shine,

I need to know.

The day gave you to me, 

The night took you away,

If ever you were mine, 

I need to know.

The silence is stagnant,

And echoes never go,

Why do silence echo?

I need to know.

I can face the world but not

This love that ends in pain.

Why cant you come again?

I need to know.

I need to know.

Gumnaam Pal

 Kuch pal, adhure se, rahon mein bikhre hue.

Ek zindagi hain khokhli si, thaki hui.

Ek yaad hai, simti hui,

Dhundli hoti kuch tasveerein hain.

Ek shakhs hai apna sa ya shayad paraya,

Chalawa hai shayad wo, ya ek pyaas.

Ek mrigmarichika hai hasraton ka,

Saahil hai ya ek khwab.

Ye kaisi khamoshi hai, anant.

Ye kaisa pashopesh hai, aahon ka.

Sanson ka ye shor hai,

Pahar dar pahar maddhim hota

Khota hua, ek aanshu ki tarah

Palkon par kahin thehra

Gumnaam sa, akela, haara hua....

You

 Your smile, 

solace to my thirsty soul,

beaconing me

through the dark alleys,

holding me

through my loneliness.

this heart,

parched of love,

craves for the warmth

of your embrace,

come, burn my passion

once again my love.

those nights,

an era of love unbound,

a burning flame

rekindling every moment.

give me back one moment,

from those memories that i yearn

hopes are not dreams

and love's not just a moment,

thats what my heart says.

so i hold on

to you, life, and say

'I am blessed...'

Life

The night, so dark, yet my own
The light, so bright, yet unknown.

The images, of fading faces.
Faces, never my own.

The shadow, holding on to me,
Pain, I am holding on.

This night, the faces, the shadow, this pain,
I will laugh on thee, laugh again.

Laugh 'cause I love, laugh 'cause I am alive,
Laugh 'cause I know, laugh this is life...

Papa I Am Yours

Papa I am yours,
In flesh and blood,
I am yours.

When I needed you,
you never came.
When I was crying,
you never hugged.

Did you ever feel my pain?
Or even see my tears!
Did you ever know I am hurt,

Or see me bleed, every moment!

The house I thought mine,

your heart, where I never belonged.

This blood that you dont see,

is what binds you and me.

Papa I am yours...

today and forever,

I am yours...

My Story

Today I can only remember,
The eyes that I cannot see.
And today I am far from the man
I was, when you left me.

That I would be me, only when
You are with me, I had never known
Today when everything is left far behind,
I realize through the darkness that I own.

Subtle pains that echo,
Echoes that may never die.
Echoes of the words, carved inside,
Some of which you said, some that I.

Everything seems an illusion now,
The faces, the places and the time.
I wonder if they were real,
The moments that I left behind.

Your memories bring me joy,
They bring me pain.
They transform me into the man
Someday I was, yet again…

I remember you again

You called yourself "a passing thought",

The thought that has persisted,

As the seasons change;

I remember you again.

Memories of your eyes that loved me and arms that held,

Keep coming with the thousands of wishes,

That never cease, yet goes in vain.

I remember you again.

The hours that keep passing will never return,

And as the color of my cheeks, keep fading,

I keep yearning for you, for joy or for pain.

I remember you again.

You lead me to where two roads meet,

And through the thousands of moments that I keep,

My tears follow you, down the memory lane,

As I remember you again......

Love Expressed

I know, you knew

that I always loved you.

And love, your eyes reflected too.

But there was still, silence

Always standing between us.

My loneliness always clarified,

what never was done by words.

I decided to express it all to you,

Yet only to wait;

And that is what, till today I do.

Lost are my words,

For you my heart cries

Wake up and feel my love

Expressed in my damp eyes.

-29-04-1999 ----- 20-07-2000